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Another part of me knew that doing so would look stupid and draw attention to what I was trying to hide, so that part of me was trying to lower my hands down to my sides. The two different parts of me were having a war over the control of my hands. Neither part was winning so my hands continued to hover uselessly in front of me.Everyone was seated around the long table in the living room. They all turned and watched as Tara steered me into the place reserved for me. There was no chair. A place was set. A plate sat there waiting for me but there was no chair. Now I remembered why I’d gone to my room in the first place. I needed the chair out of my room.I turned and took a step towards my room. Tara stopped me.“I’ll get it. If I let you go, it’ll be Christmas before we all get to eat.”I turned back to the table and stood in my place. Everyone was still staring at me – a ring of faces – all those eyes – all staring at me. My hands flapped helplessly in front of me as first one part of. We’d sneak touches at each other’s hands, but that was all. I told her about being whipped, and the other shit Ransom did to me, and we worried about what to do.Lisa agreed the adults were no help. No one would believe me if I told them what Father Ransom was doing — least of all Mom. She thought he was a saint. I had this fantasy where we’d be naked, and Eddie’s dad would burst in with a bunch of other cops and drag him off to jail. I knew it was hopeless, because Ransom was too smart to get caught.As things turned out, though, that’s just what happened. All I had to do was stand up for myself.It was Wednesday, and I had three more days to go before my next “lesson.” I’d been restless all day, not paying much attention, shifting around in my seat. Sitting in that hard desk chair made my bottom start to hurt again, and I kept shifting my weight from one cheek to the other, slouching, then sitting up, trying to get comfortable. Sister Margaret didn’t seem to notice. So once again I.
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